Well it’s an end to another day I am feeling tired but a tiredness that goes deeper than the physical. Today I feel spiritual and emotional worn. I was up since 4:30am this morning. I got up to go to the gym I went and found the gym was close. I was little upset but such is life. When I got back a very special friend of mine was online. We talk for over an hour you know everything is for a reason. The conversation made me think of how much I am really missing out on in my life concerning love. Times goes by, the years just skips away, before long gray hair appear and you find yourself looking for that special someone still. On the emotional rollercoaster of life and love I find myself nauseous and vomiting out bad relationships or spitting out the after taste of a broken heart. I find I yearn for a warm arm around my back around my waist and for a warm voice to whisper in my ear an, “I love you”. Out of weakness all I hear from an unequally yoked soul is an “I would for love you to %&#* me.” No emotional connection tons of physical attraction but like any drug the high is not as extraordinary after you no pun intended, “hit it a couple of times”. You find yours falling like meteorite down, down, down and hitting the waters of forgetfulness where everyone else seem unaware of your existent and a place where you can easily forget who you are also. Everyone says be patient and it will find you. I wonder if they would take the same attitude if they were looking for a job. “Just stay home baby do not look the job will find you”. I have decided to wash myself in the cleansing streams and be reborn anew.
I declare all my pass transgression a thing of the pass and place the vacant sign in the window of my heart. I sit waiting, waiting, waiting for one day I shall not feel this tiredness anymore.
13 comments:
Dayum, you definitely make an excellent point when you compare finding love to finding a job. I never thought about it like that. I don't know, it just seems like when you are REALLY looking for love, you can’t seem to find what you are looking for. You may find something, but it probably won’t be ‘the one’.
Pretty much everyone that I know that is in a long-term relationship or married, met the person when they least expected it or when they were not really looking. I guess that’s why people always mention that cliché about “be patient and it will find you”.
I can understand though when you need and want something, you need it then, you want it then, its not so much about being impatient as it is about filling an emptiness or yearning that you have inside. Its about feeling complete…
Ok man thanks for sharing that. That was deep and honest. If it were up to me, you would not have to feel the tiredness anymore
You look so peaceful. :)
Let love find you, but make sure that you are in all the right places!
It is always good seeing you again, wish we had more time to chill and bug out!
I know what you mean. That's why I've given up on sex for awhile. That's right I said I've given up on sex. I need more, so I'm feeling you.
And I think the bit about letting it happen to you comes from people being more acceptable to love when they come across as comfortable with themselves. When one is looking for it, all types of attempts to seem like something you're not, happen. It gets ugly.
Thanks for stopping by, your presence in my space is appreciated!
I feel you on the...
"No emotional connection tons of physical attraction but like any drug the high is not as extraordinary after you no pun intended, “hit it a couple of times”."
Solely satisfying the physical needs with someone gets played out quick. There's got to be more to it.
It's funny how we sometimes look at people and think that they have it all together because they have such a beautiful spirit. When we met on Thanksgiving I felt, more than saw what a beautiful person you are. Don't get me wrong... I didn't miss that you were physically beautiful too, but I have long since realized that once physical beauty fades, we are left with what's underneath. I am always more mindful of the inner. I don't doubt that you will find the love you seek. Just don't forget who you are... a worthy, beautiful soul, deserving of all the best that life has to offer. I want to thank you for the comment you left me because you brightened what was shaping up to be a bad day. That makes me so thankful for you and proud to call you my brother in spirit. I have felt all that you are feeling. And it WILL come to you. In the meantime wrap your arms around yourself and believe that as long as you love YOU, you're not missing out on anything. Shower yourself with affection and that light you already have will shine so much brighter, that the one for you will be drawn to it. Those who are unworthy will be blinded and fall back. You'll see.
bruh, something that i'm learning is that companionship is only one of life's perks; it's not a guarantee. lol, call me a cynic, but i'm sick of waiting to be "found."
What you say is all too familiar. I keep finding more and more people throughout this country (and even the world) that express the same feelings that you have. I truly don't understand why there has to be such a void in so many lives.
I, myself, have felt this way. Sometimes to the point that it feels hopeless.
For some unknown, strange reason, it seems to happen the way essequibo said "when you least expect it".
All I can say is I feel your pain, keep your spirits up.
You're preaching to the choir, Stone.
I wanted to say "sweet dreams" when I seen your picture.
Nevertheless, never let your emotional drain you because you also wear out the physical and mental when you are drained emotionally.
Peace be unto you.
i totally relate to bein fuckin tired. its finals week! shiiiiiiiiiit!
Luckily you are in a better place by the time I am commenting to this post. I will say I feel you man. I am so there right now. I am tired of casual sex and haven't had any for months. I like you long for something more meaningful and what makes it so bad it won't be a easy feat to make that happen. I am so ready for love but I can't rush it and just accept anyone. There is nothing wrong with wanting more. All good things in time...
Awww, Stoney...
Post a Comment