What I leave in 2005.

I leave all the negative thinking in 2005

I leave all the insecurity behind to.

I leave all the heart brakes and aches that cause my sleep to be fleeting in the old year.

I leave my prejudices with the sands of worn time.

I leave my bad spending practices

I leave all the negative people behind also.

I leave the senseless hookups behind

I leave the shameful waste of time in 2005

I leave neglect of my sprite and soul in 2005

I leave anything that will stop me from achieving success, happiness and love behind also.

I leave them all and I do not look back just toward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amazing Week

I had a totally amazing week. Amazing. I will write about it later on. I am so happy!!!! It's over now but the memories will warm me until his presence can!!!

Two Heart Apart

Each moment I share with you is a moment well spent.

Every moment you told me you love me was heaven sent.

With one life to live no time for hate

With one life to live I’ve found my soul mate.

So I honor you with all my heart

And I cherish the memories when we’re apart

No matter how far we are from each other

You are in my being like no other.

I treasure the nights as you held me in your arms

And the way you touch me brought sweet calms

As I held you never wanting to let go

All my fears I let you know

You dismissed them your love did flow.

So I like a bird I give you to the wind with no regrets

Know that in me you’ll always have a nest

No matter where we are we are bonded two souls

It is with you I want to grow old.

So if I can not hold you tight when we are apart

If you find someone else and so do I

Know that you will always be the true and only love of my heart.

Anticipation !!!

Anticipation

Calling my name with quite excitement at three’ in the morning.

String me with affection and reflection before the day is dawning.

Possession and obsessing over your arrival my hearts skips beats.

Knowing when you get here the neighbor will hear us tearing the sheets.

I’ve been denied your presence like a diabetic denied sugar

My body aches for your warmth and your vigor.

You have me on edge like a sniper’s trigger finger.

The last time we made love your smell in my mind still lingers.

If I could walk on water the sea for you I would’ve cross

Let me search the universe all for your cause

Counting down each moment before I hold you here

Before euphoria makes me forget all my cares.

I want you forget all the strangers stares

We are alone in eternity no months no days no years.

Anticipation

Baby I’ve pack away all my masturbations

I live for your sweat and sweet gyrations.

I yearn for you to make me soaking wet

Yeah wet like a summer with a heat index of 103

In a subway tunnel with no A/C

With your hands down my privacy

And my tongue taking you to ecstasy til’ it’s over

And my cum exploding like a super nova

All over

Anticipation

Warning, warning there’ll be some heat

Call the fire department to put out these sheets

There’ll be an ignition when our bodies meet

There’ll be an earth quake under our feet.

There’ll be a collision when the planets meet.

Anticipation

WHAT YOU LOOKING AT?

Every now and then you have to ask yourself; what you are looking at? What appears to be all appealing on the outside may not actually be. Life as a human is one of looking from the inside out. We look at the wealthy and think they have it all because they seem to have it all but perception is just an illusion but reality is somewhere in the mist of it all.

So I do not take things at face value because more than likely it is far deeper than I can even begin to see. So I do not envy anyone’s relationship because what I do not see far more of the truth than what I can see. I do not envy what people have because I do not know how they got it.

I pay attention to Karma because it’s a mofo and it comes back at you. You might think you are getting away with hurting someone but you are not.

• Be careful what you say about people because it comes back you.

• Be careful of whom you try to undermine because there are a lot of divide influences that are at work and when you try to interfere in the end you are the one who will get fucked.

• Treat people how you want to be treated period.

• We are not perfect all our shit stinks so it’s high time we act like it.

I see so many good things in 2006 for many of you but for others I see exposure not in bad way but I see people seeing you for who you are. Something the best truth is the naked true.

So what you looking at? I’m looking at me too and I am sweeping in front of my own door first.

I am taking the beam out of my own eye first before I try to take yours.

Strike 2005

Since my relatively short stay in NYC I’ve been witness to so much history. I was here during 9/11 and even saw the planes hit the towers with my own eyes. I was downtown that morning in fact when a building fell it destroyed one of my colleges building. Now this strike I am so damn mad and so inconvenienced by the whole thing. So many people walking trying to get their jobs and if they don’t they will be in danger of loosing it. So today I am a little saddened by this whole thing. They need to get their shit together and come to an agreement so the city can get moving again.

I liken this whole thing to being gang raped. “Either way you turn someone gonna fuck you whether it be the MTA or TWU.”

Brokeback Moutain

Last night was an amazing evening. I went to the movies and saw a powerfully romantic movie; “Brokeback Mountain”. The story is of two cowboys who met over a summer herding sheep on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. Coming from two different backgrounds sharing the commonality of being poor these two men fell in love with each other. The love affair spans some 20 years with both of the men getting married and having children. One of them was willing to leave everything behind and follow his heart and love the other for the rest of his life. The other was in fear and denial and was too afraid to follow his heart and just love the man who had his heart. It is a story of lost and love. It’s sensitive and tells a story that could’ve happened and a story that needed to be told. The acting was powerful and convincing and most defiantly Oscar worthy. What was even more amazing the crowd it was a sold out show was very mixed. From Straight couples on a date to older men and women to gay men I have never seen such a mix crowd enjoying a movie like this. It’s an indicator that society is becoming more mature and accepting. When it was over everyone gave a thunderous applause. So this is another one of my picks. Its good people yeah and I did cry in this movie as well. The lesson I took a way was, “love strong and follow your heart because regret and love lost is worse than anything”.

GO SEE THE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU ON THE MOUTAIN

Winds Of Change

What a funny world. After my last blog I went to bed feeling really good. I might have sounded a little sad but I wasn’t. The tone was mellow but I was in a good place concerning me. Well when it rains it pours right? The next day I got up I dressed myself to kill I was feeling all sexy-fly and shit. Well I was looking all hot right, did I say that already well it’s worth saying again. LOL Within the next 24 hours I asked out on a date by 5(five) diffrent people. I was like damn just last night I was on dry dock and feeling so undesirable in a way and just tired of all the shit. Two black, two Latin and one white it was amazed. Be careful what you asked for I guess because you sometimes get more than you can handle. I did wonders for my ego which was always big anyway but it was nice lifter upper. I realized when you speck things they come into existence that is why you have to be careful what you say. Negative talking brings about negative results. Positive talking brings positive results.

So I speck!

This is a new day all good things will come my way and I will live with joy and peace. I speck this into the lives of all the people that stop into my spot.

A strange Tireness

Well it’s an end to another day I am feeling tired but a tiredness that goes deeper than the physical. Today I feel spiritual and emotional worn. I was up since 4:30am this morning. I got up to go to the gym I went and found the gym was close. I was little upset but such is life. When I got back a very special friend of mine was online. We talk for over an hour you know everything is for a reason. The conversation made me think of how much I am really missing out on in my life concerning love. Times goes by, the years just skips away, before long gray hair appear and you find yourself looking for that special someone still. On the emotional rollercoaster of life and love I find myself nauseous and vomiting out bad relationships or spitting out the after taste of a broken heart. I find I yearn for a warm arm around my back around my waist and for a warm voice to whisper in my ear an, “I love you”. Out of weakness all I hear from an unequally yoked soul is an “I would for love you to %&#* me.” No emotional connection tons of physical attraction but like any drug the high is not as extraordinary after you no pun intended, “hit it a couple of times”. You find yours falling like meteorite down, down, down and hitting the waters of forgetfulness where everyone else seem unaware of your existent and a place where you can easily forget who you are also. Everyone says be patient and it will find you. I wonder if they would take the same attitude if they were looking for a job. “Just stay home baby do not look the job will find you”. I have decided to wash myself in the cleansing streams and be reborn anew.

I declare all my pass transgression a thing of the pass and place the vacant sign in the window of my heart. I sit waiting, waiting, waiting for one day I shall not feel this tiredness anymore.

Memoirs of a Geisha

This weekend was somewhat of a rush around the city for me but I had a really good time. I am big movie goer so this weekend there was just too many things to choose from for a change. Usually the movies that are released should go directly to DVD. Memoirs of a Geisha was not one of these movies it was powerful, romantic and cinematically beautiful. Yeah I said romantic. I am not going to tell in details the story because I want you guys to go out and see it. The basic a young Japanese girl is sold at 8 years old, looses her parents soon after, her sister is taken away from her all within a very short time. You expect someone who had so much lost to be broken but her spirit was strong. The theme of suffering for love is brilliantly portrayed. I almost cried at one point. No matter how many time you hear a story about true love its always fresh and new.

You know when a movie is good when you leave the theater in character. For the next few hours I wanted be addressed as Hatsumomo.


DId anyone see it or what do you think i should see next?

My many faces

Under the knife

He went under the Knife

Today was a busy day for me; having to get up at 5:30am to awaken a friend of mine so that he could be to the hospital at 7:00am for surgery. Before you starting feeling all sorry for him it was an optional procedure. He swore me to secrecy that I should not tell anyone at our gym what he was going to have done. Well he didn’t say anything about telling my blog so here goes. This was just too sweet not to write down. He went in for Liposuction. He was going to get the fat from the back of his waist removed and his lower abs. He has been going to the gym for years now and he really does work out hard but not everyone is born with those slim genes like me. I was shocked when he told me he was going to do that. We usually think that only women do those type of things but it seems that a lot of men are doing that these days. While driving him there I started to tease him and scare him about the procedure I am such a stinker at times. LOL He is Latin and always says it’s because I am black is the reason for my metabolism is so fast but I pointed out many fat black people.

Anyway I dropped him off then many hours later I picked him back up from the hospital. When I saw him one thing came to mind he looked tore up. I was trying not to laugh at him. He said how much pain he was in. So he is here for the weekend so I could watch him. I wish they had given him more anesthesia he will not shut up. It’s only been a few hours and he driving me up the walk. Talk, talk, talk damn I just want to punch him in all the places where he got his lipo. So in an effort to claim myself I am writing you dear blog. I am striking these keys so I do not strike him. I wish they had taken out his tongue while they were removing the fat. I like my weekends quite. Pray for me

I wonder would I ever get any optional procedures done me?

Long ass Blogs

Blogging has been such a wonderful experience for me. I’ve met some very intellectual people, comical people, deep people, dark people and sunshiny people. I’ve had the opportunity to take a peek into people lives and live what they are living at the moment but what I have noticed is most people talk to damn much. I mean I come across some blogs that are ridiculously long. Come on there is no need for an average post to be over 1500 words. I love reading what people have to say but reading these long ass blog is taking forever. I have to get up to early to get all of them in. I have come to a resolution if I have to scroll down for 15 minutes before I reach the end of one post I am not going to read it. I believe you can be clear and to the point with in a few paragraphs at most. I think when you really have something to say and you need to be long winded then people would read it then. So in the spirit of keeping it short and to the point…….

Am I the only one who thinks some blogs are too long?